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Schools

How to Compliment Your Child

Social worker talks about raising kids at Southern Boulevard session.

Raising boys isn't easy. But parents who attended a question and answer session at Southern Boulevard School Tuesday night learned some tactics that could potentially make doing so a bit easier.

Guest speaker Bill Kennard's interactive discussion allowed parents and teachers a chance to delve into further detail the topics discussed at a previous Southern Boulevard book talk.

Kennard, who is a licensed clinical social worker, talked about ways to teach children, specifically boys, how to identify their such development with the proper words and tools.

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He said parents can also heighten the way the children feel about themselves through using the right techniques.

Stereotypically, he said, parents tend to raise boys differently than girls in a way that encourages them to suppress their emotional selves. When boys are scared, worried, hurt, frustrated or lonely, he said, they are expected to brush off those feelings, because when they do express those emotions, they can be called a "wimp" or another unsavory name.

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"If our kids can't express these feelings, then how are we supposed to connect with them and guide them to deal with the emotion?" Kennard said. "Let's talk about permission to have an internal life with a full range of emotions."

Kennard emphasized the use of a chart listing different emotions, which the parents can use to identify different feelings that the children and adults experience on a regular basis and explain what they mean to children. He said a good time to discuss these topics is right before bedtime.

Fathers also play a major role in this effort, according to Kennard.

"The fathers that are here—you guys are the role models, and you can play a tremendous role in giving your sons permission to be scared," he said. "For a man to be able to allow himself to be vulnerable with his son—that gives the boys permission to be able to have that feeling," Kennard said.

Kennard also discussed confidence, saying that mothers and fathers can build their children's confidence by spontaneously saying something they love about them—although that compliment shouldn't be tied to performance or grades.

Saying, "I love the way you think" or "I love your sense of humor" allows boys to begin to value themselves in a broader way and become more confident and balanced, Kennard explained.

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