Cows Avoid Tolls, Man's Got ‘Problem With Authority’

This week's crazy New Jersey police news includes runaway cows, a cash hiding place failure and a pair of boozy pants.

Each week, Patch combs through the more shocking, surprising and often absurd alleged criminal acts and police-related incidents that unfold throughout New Jersey. Here’s what went on this week for “OMGs from NJ PD.”

You Don’t Say … : We recommend exercising the right to remain silent next time you're confronted by cops for allegedly harassing a bar bouncer. Unfortunately, one 24-year-old man took another route, telling Morristown Police That’s probably an understatement, considering police had to resort to leg irons to get the man under control and under arrest.

Cattle Constitutional: Why did the cows cross the road? The bovines were unavailable for comment, but has a theory: “It was just some dopey cows that decided to go out for a walk.” Hey, give them some credit. The Holmdel cow trio allowed themselves to be corralled before they got onto the parkway and were charged as toll scofflaws.

Jet Set Money Takes Flight: We’ll hand it to the burglars who broke into a Woodbridge condo—they’re thorough. The burglars managed to find a huge stash of . Points off, though, for missing another $600 hidden in a suit pocket. If the Woodbridge Police ever find the burglars, we gotta know: Why not just steal the suitcases too for a smooth getaway on wheels?

This Is a Nerf Stickup: Do you think it’s more embarrassing to walk away from a robbery without any cash or to the taunts of your victims when they realize ? You can ask a Westville man in about five years. That’s the sentence he’s facing for trying to rob a Deptford Wawa, only to have his toy gun give him away. The fake gun led to some very real charges and the 39-year-old will learn his fate in October.

It Wasn’t (Hiccup) Me Driving: You know those moments when a flash of genius hits you and what looked like a bad situation is suddenly saved by your quick-thinking brilliance? Yeah, neither does one 26-year-old woman. Toms River Police say the woman from Lanoka Harbor crashed into another car while allegedly driving under the influence. She calmly waited at the scene for police—. The woman reportedly told police someone else was driving the car. Unable to find the phantom chauffeur, police arrested the woman.

Not Quite a Seamless Getaway: A Pennsylvania man pressed his luck one too many times when he r by turning them into a hiding place for stolen hooch. It was the 44-year-old man's second day in a row of alleged liquor stealing, the South Orange store owner told police. Next time, maybe he should try camouflage pants. Zing! Thank you folks, we’ll be here all week. Try the veal!

No Pictures, Please: No one likes red-light cameras, those pesky tattletales that get you if you misjudge a yellow light. But someone in Newark really, really doesn’t like them. two of the city’s cameras recently. But authorities are having trouble tracking down the suspect because any photographic evidence went kaput with the gunfire.

The Wet Nap Bandits: Maybe one 27-year-old and 19-year-old just needed a ride to the store and wanted to leave the car they allegedly stole in tiptop shape. Maybe they’re extremely concerned about germs. Either way, of the stolen car landed them in a much grimier place: a jail cell. After a citizen spotted the men suspiciously detailing the car at a Toms River Foodtown, a tip to police led to their arrest and the recovery of the car, reported stolen earlier.

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