Ivans Infuses Poetry With Raw Emotion

Chatham Township resident Marcia Ivans wrote her first poem thirty years ago as a small, personal gift to a friend, a thank you for a favor done. Entitled "Sunshine," it was a plain-spoken poem about a common sight—flowers on a kitchen table. Ivans described this first effort as a pin-prick to an emotional balloon over her head. 

"I grew up in the age of nobody wanting to know how you felt," Ivans said last Friday at Café Beethoven. "This was taught to me by my parents."

Ivans, now a published poet, organizes poetry readings at Café Beethoven every other month. A reading will take place tonight at 7 p.m., and a $10 charge at the door covers coffee, cake, tax and tip. The reading is open to everyone, meaning anyone can come read their poetry, so long as their reading is limited to five minutes.

Ivans will read her own poetry tonight, along with everyone else. But for a long time, she kept her writings private.

She was encouraged after writing "Sunshine," and began writing poems that were stapled together and sold a Bayside, N.Y. boutique. The result would eventually become a book called "Yesterday: A Collection of Poetry."

Ivans said the self-published work marked a release from 40 years of personal isolation and anger.

In one poem, "Mr. and Mrs. Machine," Ivans writes: "The smallest annoyances seem to set me off/Into a raging anger I don't like/I feel comforted to know/That I must call you/It's not only knowing that you care/Which I really do believe/But it's also a check system on myself."

But after Ivans self-published 200 copies of the collection, "Yesterday" spent the next 25 years in a closet. Ivans did not feel prepared to share her work with others.

Her involvement with a Mendham-based writing group called Women Reading Aloud brought about the resurrected book. Encouraged by colleagues to market the collection, Ivans began pressing local merchants to carry the book and allow her to do readings.

"I started to do a lot of readings anywhere to get my name out," she said.

Ivans said she initially didn't understand people's reactions to her writings.

"I wrote a poem about anger and people said they knew how I felt. 'How could you know how I feel?' I said to them," Ivans said. "Maybe I had a wall up. I didn't understand another person's feeling or my own." 

Ivans said she only gradually began to realize that people did understand her. She said her second book of poetry, "Over Easy," is about the enjoyment of knowing herself.

In "Yellow Forsythia," she writes: "Lying dormant too long/Rising from the hard cold earth/Daring winter to make its exit/Bringing light from darkness/Stretching my branches/Feeling the warmth of the sun/Growing and alive again/I am yellow forsythia."

Six years ago, Ivans and a friend were inspired to have an evening of open poetry readings at Café Beethoven. They proposed the idea to its owner, Andy Copp.

Ivans said she guaranteed him 10 people. She only managed five that first night.

But Copp thought the idea would work, and "Poetry and Pastries" was launched. Ivans said each reading attracts about 25 people.

Ivans also hosts readings and discussions for all genres at Barnes and Noble at the Livingston Mall, 112 Eisenhower Parkway, Livingston. Her next scheduled reading there is March 16 at 7 p.m.